it might be better if elections were held in a different season.  it's bad enough to be on the losing side without the concurrent return to standard time and the chill of impending winter.  (even in southern california, there was today a chilling blustery wind.)

i have some experience in the matter which im willing to share for whatever dubious comfort it may provide.

NIXON VS KENNEDY 1960

This was the first electoral contest in which i invested any hope and anticipation.  my parents were an anomaly in our suburban detroit community in that they were both republicans (moderate: mom; conservative: dad).  my father was involved in the local republican organization (him and two other guys i think hahahah) and while nixon wasn't his first preference, kennedy was anathema. 

a word about my parents: i remember my mom telling me the joy that covertly rippled through the newspaper office where she worked on the day fdr died (joy not because he'd died but because the spell was finally broken) lasted only as long as it took to realize truman was now at the helm of state; my father's political hero was senator robert taft of ohio. 

our neighbors were--like nearly all residents of urban/suburban detroit at at the time, except perhaps those living in grosse pointe, on grosse isle or in similar exclusive enclaves on the far northwestern frontier--emphatic democratic voters on the national and state levels.  so my sense of disappointment over jfk's victory was slightly tempered by the fact id no longer have to get my ass kicked everyday for the rest of 1960 nor have to listen anymore to the nuns at my school lecture us about the heaven on earth a kennedy administration would be ushering in. 

my comfort in defeat was assuaged by my father's assurance that sooner or later--assuming we weren't the united socialist republic of america first--the country would come to its senses (starting with the patriarchal moderate republicans who might as well be democrats) and be lead by the illustrious barry goldwater to a similar sorta utopia anticipated by the nuns, only without all the harps n shit.   (if only the nuns had known how much naughty fun jfk was having...)

GOLDWATER VS JOHNSON 1964

following nixon's loss, my father became more active in local politics hoping to inspire fellow republicans to make better choices, and decided to run for state office in 1964. by one of those weird twists of fate, his hero (and one of mine in large part) barry goldwater won the republican nomination that same year.

lest you get the impression my enthusiasm for goldwater was merely a result of my father's influence, please consider this: i was traumatized as an even younger kid when i happened to turn on the tv one morning when i was 8 or 9 and saw the outrageous conflict attendant to the integration of little rock, ar schools.  i had, by that time, memorized much of the declaration of independence and the preamble to the constitution and absolutely believed our country was run according to the principles contained therein.  easily able to empathize with the kids who required a military escort through an army of adult bigots, i tried to figure out how something like this--so totally in opposition to those principles--could be happening.  i concluded the problem must be one of ignorance.  obviously those people weren't aware that 'all men were created equal'.  simple problem with an equally simple solution. i insisted my mother help me resolve it by writing a letter to then-president eisenhower (which i signed) offering him the benefit of my wisdom.  by the end of the 50s, id eavesdropped on enough adult conversations and run into the home-grown racism of my peers to know just how foolish a child id been. 

in case you haven't already guessed, politics and current events were a common topic in my parents' home.  my father had been raised in a small company town in wisconsin, one which was plagued by one of the longest and bitterest strikes in labor history.  my father, grandfather (who was private secretary to the owner of the company involved) and uncle (artist and very radical politico for that time) each had his own take on the situation--as well as everything else-and whenever they were together, they endeavored to change the world and each others' minds. 

by evaluating and synthesizing their arguments, comparing them to what i was seeing on tv and reading about in books & periodicals and attending presentations--at which i was almost always the youngest member of the audience--with speakers ranging from members of the john birch society to the naacp, i had decided that while johnson was not the anti-christ my father believed him to be, he was too 'compromised' for me.  additionally, although i initially--and for a very short time--believed the war in vietnam to be the mission of freedom it was originally proclaimed, by 1962, i'd come to believe it was blind foolishness or worse.  goldwater's speech at the 1964 convention led me to believe that he was much more likely--despite his staunch anti-communism--to bring it to an end.  most  importantly i believed goldwater to be, above everything else, a fair and very honest man.  i still do.

in any event, that's how i found myself--after having fruitlessly wasted the spring and early summer of 1963 trying to convince my parents and the sncc leaders in detroit to permit me to help them integrate the south--fruitlessly spending the fall of 1964 going door to door to every house in the old 18th district, distributing literature and urging adults to vote for goldwater and my father. 

HUMPHREY VS NIXON 1968

i was living in chicago for much of early-mid 1968.  between the assassinations of martin luther king and robert kennedy, it had already been a tragic year as far as i was concerned.  in 1965, id run across a copy of the port huron statement and was struck by its power.  i didn't much care for hubert humphrey as a person and his mindless apologies for the war outweighed his populist advocacy and the johnson administration's efforts to resolve the country's racial problems. i was very suspicious of the 'new' nixon--it would be a while before i learned  how he'd orchestrated the first 'october surprise', but i gotta say my concerns were proved valid.  this was an election we all lost.

MCGOVERN VS NIXON 1972

having finally reached my majority, this was the first election in which i was able to vote. i had no intention of supporting a criminal of either affiliation so nixon was out of the question.  mcgovern--like goldwater--was an honest and fair man and i would have been able to vote for him if it hadn't occurred to me to opt for a write-in.  barry goldwater. 

CARTER VS REAGAN 1980

id met reagan in 1964 at a goldwater campaign function.  i was already very aware of him at that time, having attended anti-communist lectures featuring films in which he acted as spokesperson or provided the narration.  he presented himself as a staunch proponent of goldwater conservatism and i was impressed by that.  i was proud he voiced a few words of support for my father's campaign and valued that more than the support voiced by moderate george romney. 

after moving permanently to california in 1971,  id come to see reagan in a much different light.  for the first time in my life (or any other american born after the end of the great depression), id seen people sleeping on the streets.  in my mind, that was something that only happened in the third world slums. it didn't take long to realize it was a direct consequence of reagan's flawed attempts to make good on his fiscal promises.  i wasn't at all happy about carter's performance in the whitehouse but reagan had done no better in sacramento.  what pushed me into voting for carter was a sense--as with nixon--that things were not at all what they seemed.  i was particularly bothered by reagan's choice of george hw bush as his vice-presidential candidate--especially when it began to seem to me there was some sort of collusion between the reagan campaign and the iranis--and his alliance with the mullahs of the so-called religious right.  ive never found a good reason to change my assessment of reagan, bush or bush and their policies.

MONDALE VS REAGAN 1984

once the so-called october surprise (actually the 2nd of these) was exposed, i no longer had a problem being anti-reagan.  interestingly enough,  goldwater seemed less than enthused about reagan the longer he remained president.

 
hearing reagan testify that he 'couldnt recall' pertinent details of the iran-contra situation--and realizing he was avoiding impeachment by so testifying--confirmed for me the correctness of my estimation of ronald reagan.  i no longer regretted having found myself deciding to vote for mondale.

DUKAKIS VS BUSH 1988

this was the first anyone-but-bush campaign for me.  i was in honolulu the day bush sr announced his choice of running mate and was appalled.  it had become quite evident to me--if no one else-- that bush sr played a major role in weakening the ford presidency and helping those who highjacked reagan's presidency.  i didn't want to vote for a guy who looked silly driving a tank but i sure wasn't gonna vote for the campaign that unapologetically put willie horton into play. 

as you can see, i haven't been on the so-called 'winning side' often.  nor has our country in my opinion.  voters too often get what they deserve. and what they've been getting a lot of in my lifetime is candidates willing to do anything or anyone to win. this time around, anything consisted mostly of pandering to theocrats and fronting off a group of veterans.

to those of you who feel you lost on 11/2/2004--but more specifically to those who are at this moment sure they won--i can only repeat the cliched but too often ignored adage:  those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.