it took me far too long to realize questions concerning  this year's presidential candidates' military service could be very easily resolved.  

while pondering the problems of memo hoaxes and memory lapses, i had a sudden moment of such profound clarity i found myself physically paralyzed, unable to blink or turn away from the blinding brightness that is pure truth..  

that epiphany leaves me with no choice but to concede i made a terrible mistake listening to others--including you.  not that im placing blame.  i should have known better.  foolishly relying on the law of averages, it seemed possible you might be right occasionally.

as poor as it may be, that's the only excuse i can offer for buying into the 'john kerry was first to make military service a major point of focus in the current campaign' falsehood.

in fact, george bush first opened that military footlocker of a pandora's box by donning a flight suit, climbing into the cockpit of an s-3b viking and jetting into the wild blue yonder (or more accurately over 35 miles of open ocean) before landing on the uss abraham lincoln's flight deck to stand triumphant beneath a huge bright banner announcing  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

it was such a stirring scene, i really cant explain how it slipped my mind. it has finally gained traction once again to suggest the final solution to the 'which one of these guys is the better warrior' quandary.

it seems fair to presume both candidates acquired unique skills while fulfilling their military obligations: bush as an f-102 pilot; kerry as skipper of a swiftboat.  to let them show off their abilities,i propose a tournament as follows: 

the venue: pacific ocean east of san diego, california.
  
target 'b':  flight deck of the uss abraham lincoln (on station 35 miles due east of san diego)
target 'k':  an area 100' x 100' demarcated by floats, 1 mile to port of the uss abraham lincoln .

mission 'b'  on signal,  lt george bush, tang will make a solo flight from naval air station north island and land on target 'b'  after locating and destroying  a remote-controlled life-size inflatable representation of osama bin laden.

mission 'k':  on signal, lt john kerry  will depart coronado island at the wheel of a pfc heading to target area 'k'  with senator edwards in tow. (edwards will be permitted to wear only swimming trunks and flip-flops instead of water skis.) while evading attack by the crew of another swiftboat  under the command of zell miller with a crew of 6 swiftboat veterans for truth armed with spitballs and insulting accusations.

should lt bush be unable to accomplish his mission before running out of fuel, he must trigger the ejection seat device.

should lt kerry notice lt bush floating in the open ocean, he will attempt to rescue the downed flier while the lincoln's crew rakes the rescue area with live rounds.