fearlessly proclaiming the truth & the other truth! voice of the teknoshamanic institute
Hot Enough? Had Enough? Let's ROLL!
Published on July 6, 2007 By kingbee In Politics

i dunno if you've recently seen one of those color-coded national weather maps so i'm posting one captured within the past hour. 

as you can see, the whole damn country is hot as hell.  wouldn't surprise me if areas shown in that scary purplish color aren't, in fact, official hell remote locations. 

i don't recall from past summers seeing this sorta map totally saturated in orange, red and beyond (not that i can recall ever actually or intentionally focusing any attention on them in the past).  i'm pretty sure there were a couple places in green or yellow, one of which would have been the famously frigid outpost of frostbite falls, mn.

hot as it's been, my blood didn't begin to boil until i learned what's behind this attack on our climate.  it's something called the jet stream.  i'm not gonna try to explain it except to point out two things: 

1.  it's the same old science crap with a new name so i'm not gonna waste any of my time tryin to figure it out and i'd advise yall to do the same.

2.  what it's supposed to do is send cool air down to us from canada so we don't wind up sweatin our asses off down here. 

as you can see from this map (created a few seconds after the first one) it ain't doin like it should. something--or someone--has altered the jet stream course causing it to remain on the other side of the border hovering high above the heads of our so-called neighbors to the north. 

invisible to the untrained eye, the stream is like a real stream and if the flow is blocked--as it is now--we suffer.

so who's doin this to us?   seems obvious to me as i'm sure it does everyone who truly cherishes free cool air and firmly believes america was never intended to be some sorta equatorial sweatbox.

bottom line, it don't matter. evildoers are evildoers.

what we should be askin ourselves is when are we gonna get outta the hot seat, take this off the back burner and put things back the way they were?  it's a no-brainer this time for real.  we can easily assemble an experienced team of strategists (for instance, wolfowitz, rummy & libby are presently underutilized).  best of all, we don't need to capture or hold anything tangible so we  can get 'er done with very few boots on the ground

without giving anything more away, this mission would seem to require only a few planes, some precisely configured  tactical nuclear weather tweaking devices and a willingness to take back what has always been rightfully ours.  no need to over think this one because it's pure technology (hell..think about all those films in which scientists easily modified natural forces like weather, triumphing even though they were all actors, not scientists; with real geeks how can we possibly fail?)

as far as foreign policy goes, we have established historical precedent on our side.  who hasn't heard of '54-40 or fight'? all that's required is a lil reviving and revising.  instead of latitude and longitude, this time we're talkin temperature.  none of that homo centigrade stuff of course.  just good ol homemade fahrenheit.

anyone gives us any shit, we can use that badly aging hippie punk bob zimmerman's own milktoast lyric to shut em up.

we don't need a weatherman to tell which way it's blowin.
 


Comments (Page 2)
2 Pages1 2 
on Jul 12, 2007
Blame Canada


they brought it on themselves...and i doubt they'll let go voluntarily.

on Jul 12, 2007
I was looking at the map and I believe they deliberately modified the color schemes to exaggerate the effects. 70 merits RED? Come on!


even if you're correct (and i noticed the same thing myself) who the hell wants to hear a buncha facts?
on Jul 12, 2007
yeah...and the british weren't on their way to lexington either. it was just spring


So this heat wave started 230 years ago? Cool.
on Jul 12, 2007

So this heat wave started 230 years ago? Cool.


My thoughts exactly.
on Jul 12, 2007
Can't yall just sit back and enjoy all the pretty colors? Does everything have to have some secret meaning? Maybe the new color schemes just mean someone got a new box of crayons. It's a delightful day here today. Red really doesn't fit though...Maybe a nice cotton candy pink. Temps in the low 70s in the middle of July. Should I think wow...beautiful day and enjoy it or is this another part of the conspiracy that I should be worried about? Can someone tell me please?
on Jul 12, 2007
Can't yall just sit back and enjoy all the pretty colors? Does everything have to have some secret meaning? Maybe the new color schemes just mean someone got a new box of crayons. It's a delightful day here today. Red really doesn't fit though...Maybe a nice cotton candy pink. Temps in the low 70s in the middle of July. Should I think wow...beautiful day and enjoy it or is this another part of the conspiracy that I should be worried about? Can someone tell me please?


The point was, they used colors for this map that usually indicate blistering heat. The entire country is shrouded in red or purple, which SHOULD mean we're all suffering horrendous, oppressive heat. Because I know this is not true of my area (it is warm, sure, but...it's JULY!!!!!!), I checked the legend and found it to be quite different from the normal color patterns. There's clearly an agenda on this one, not a conspiracy, because a conspiracy is usually secret.
on Jul 13, 2007
We could start off next year with Hurricanes Alka-Seltzer, Buick, and Chevrolet. And who wouldn't pay attention when the Monroe Shock Absorbers earthquake hits Southern Cali? This is the next idea Madison Ave. could be jumping on, and it could all start with you!


I turned my back on the world of endorsements after my carefully constructed deal for Monica Lewinsky's Spot and Stain Remover fell through.

on Jul 14, 2007

Monica Lewinsky's Spot and Stain Remover

is that the stuff you apply directly to the person who gave you head?

2 Pages1 2